Resolved

Every day is a guilt trip and  a resolve to be a better person, so I hardly need a new year to usher in the same old feelings. Nonetheless, on NYE, on the porch at 5 to midnight, I burned a slip of paper with what I wanted to be rid of from the old year and what I wished for the new one. I'm not divulging secrets if I tell you my A#1 problem/challenge/struggle in life is FOLLOW THROUGH and COMMUNICATION. So yeah, duly noted, I'm working on it - again. Though I also note the irony of trying to Follow Through on my lack of Follow Through. Good luck!

Actually, my #1 Goal for 2010 is to get my first real professional job. In a threadbare industry during a recession. Tune in and see if we make it...I did just apply for a job I think I could actually do, as well as a summer internship. So, wheels are turning. 

Some Summary, Some Looking Forward

I moved house, again. I will likely do that again this year. Sigh.

I went to Edmonton, Canada, Spain, Austin, Boston, Maine, and Western NC - which is not enough. I want more travel! I will for sure go to Vancouver, BC in February which I am very excited about. 

My child learned to walk. She likes to run away from me in parking lots.

My child learned to talk. Her favourite phrase is "Stop, Mommy" whenever I try to talk, wash her face, eat, drink, kiss her, discipline her or cuddle. 

My Ten Favourite Books of the Year, according to my GoodReads rating system:

When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead

Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout

Bad Mother by Ayelet Waldman

Beginners Greek by James Collin

Important Artifacts... by Leanne Shapton

Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins 

Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin

A Homemade Life by Molly Wizenberg

The Moomin Collected comics by Tove Jansson 

February by Lisa Moore

Also according to GR, I read 127 books last year. Not bad, but if I included horribly painful library articles, it would be a metric ton more. 

5 movies I liked most watching according to Netflix:

Thirtysomething, the First Season (It was everything and more I was hoping for when I heard it was being re-released - unfairly panned as "smug and Yuppie angst" I think the writing is Right On and the issues being raised - by the same people who did My So Called Life I might add - are exactly right for, duh, my 30-something years. The only mystery is why I loved it in my Teens...)

Dear Zachary (heart-searing documentary)

Wendy and Lucy (love her style and Michelle Williams in this movie)

A Lion in the House (more heart-searing docs, in a children's cancer ward)

The Farmer's Wife (guess what - a documentary series! from a million years ago, but I enjoyed the re-watch)

Can I add the Patti Smith doc that was on POV the other other night? Really lovely.

Things I'm proud of, off the top of my head: 

Trying to create wonder and ritual in my kids life, but not the image of Perfection

A clean kitchen, most days

Keeping my jobs

Volunteering at the school library, even when it feels like I have no free time

Things I struggle with and mostly win:

The ethical dilemma of animal products in my diet, but when out to dinner, I occasionally indulge in a meat-based dish. I am the Poster Child of Flexitarian-ism. 

Things I struggle with and mostly lose:

Thinking about getting up an hour early to exercise but though I am an early-riser, 5 am is still too hard.

Indulgences:

Coffee. Beer. Cheese. Chocolate. I'm actually pretty good about most things vice-like.

Pet Peeves:

That talk women do at work potlucks when they justify out loud, such as "I couldn't have anymore, I'm just too full" (after eating a sliver) or "I'll have to work out for an extra hour this week" or ANY kind of talk where they justify/excuse/mention how fat they are and how terrible they are for eating. HATE THIS.

Driving and how nobody obeys any laws or posted speed limits. 

If you've read this far, I'm going to add another Resolution and a story that makes me look terrible but is 100% true.

Let it be resolved: that I not say anything horrible/nasty/mean or cutting about people out loud. Just let that negativity stay inside. Here's the story:

One of my uber-bosses at work lives near me and we've struck up a fair friendship on the bus and walks to work. She's hard to get to know so I felt good about this. Then one day we were walking Simone on the bike/walk path near our house and I have a complete complex about Right of Way on the sidewalk in general. In the distance I could see a jogger with a stroller, coming on the wrong side of the path.  I muttered loudly and darkly about who was this asshole who though they owned the whole path, blah blah blah and as she passed - OH HI BOSS-WOMAN! I didn't know it was you. I wasn't sure she heard - but her subsequent complete and total iciness GUARANTEES it. She shuts me down totally, months later. Yipes.

So yeah: Keep My Big Fat Mouth Shut. 

Starting now.